Thursday, October 1, 2015

Immeasurably More

"Now to HIM who is able to do Immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine, according to HIS power that is in work within us"
~ Ephesians 3:20 ~

A Box. I put God in a box. I quantify His power in my mind, but my mind is only capable of imagining so little because it is an earthly perspective. Yes, I believe God can do and has done great things in others lives as well as mine. I have witnessed great things over the years. However, whenever God does another great thing, I still find myself completely shocked at his greatness and power. I still fall onto my knees and look up thinking, “are you for real right now?” Or whenever I worry about the outcome of something, I still doubt that God will provide and come through. Why is this? It baffles me that I have such little faith.I believe that we do not ask God for enough. Not in terms of, “God I want this much money or I want this amazing job,” but in terms of, “God I want you to change my heart and attitude.” Or praying for things in terms of ministry such as, “God, I pray that this campus will be drastically impacted by you.” Or praying that your friend who is so against any type of faith will one day understand the love God has for them.

I know I am afraid to pray for these things. I am afraid because there is a part of me that says, “Oh nah, that is too big. That would not happen.” I am afraid of expecting something and then getting let down. I prevent this from happening by not getting my hopes up. This, in part, is because of people who have let me down in the past that leads to a lack of trust. We are constantly told by society that people will let you down and that you cannot expect too much from someone, so we then do the same thing with God. But God will never let you down. He will not only meet your expectations, but also exceed them. It might not be in the exact way you expected, but I can promise it will be better than you expected. He will never let you down. The crazy thing is that God thinks even bigger than our hopes or expectations. He thinks about things that we cannot even comprehend, dream or imagine.

In Luke 5, Jesus shocks Simon Peter. Simon Peter had been out all night trying to catch fish but he had not caught anything. Jesus told him “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon Peter probably looked at Him like “dude. That is why I have been trying to do all night long and it is not going to work this time either.” However, Simon Peter obeyed and put the nets down. I believe Simon Peter let the nets down with a bitter and doubtful attitude. I would have been defensive and put the nets down in spite of Jesus (probably because I am very stubborn). I would have expected to catch zero fish again, or maybe a few just because that would happen to me (kind of like when you say something is not working and then someone comes over to try it and they get it to work the first time… like really?). However, they did catch fish. Not just a few fish, but they caught so many fish that the nets began to break. I imagine Jesus was sitting in the boat with a smile on his face, but not in an “I told you so way,” but in a “look how cool that was” way.

Did you just get what happened? God just blew Simon Peter’s freaking mind. Simon Peter never even thought of the possibility of that happening, but God made it happen. Simon Peter put Jesus into a box. He put Him into the boundaries of the “net” but God literally broke that net. He breaks the “nets” in our lives all the time.

Just this past week God has broken so many of my “nets” and each time I am shocked. I believed God would come through, but never imagined he would come through in the BIG ways that he did.

 If you know me well, you know that I rarely ever cry. I hate it. I wish I cried more because there is so much freedom in crying. Sometimes, I try to think of something really sad and try to cry, but that never works. I do not remember the last time I actually cried. If something causes me to just tear up, then that, it itself, is monumental and I consider it “crying.” Three times this week I “cried.” These tears were because of God breaking my “nets” and the box I put him in. I was astonished and will be for a while. But it gets me hecka hype because I cannot wait for him to break more “nets.”

We cannot even begin to grasp the power that He has. No earthly definition can even come close to describing it. But we do not have to understand it to pray for it. I am asking God to break my “nets” to the point that I do not have any left. I am asking for him to blow my mind. Think BIGGER. Hope for MORE.If you pray for God to work in big ways, then prepare to drop your jaw and maybe even cry.

Thank you God. You are so BIG. You are so GOOD. 

Friday, May 1, 2015

Carolina, Home Sweet Home

Wow! In a few short days I will be all packed up and leaving this amazing place. This past year at Chapel Hill was more than I could have even dreamed of. The people, adventures, lessons and opportunities have been out of this world. God has been so faithful and I know all these blessings came from Him.

  • He blessed me beyond belief.
  • He healed me from things I never though I would be healed from. 
  • He surrounded me with the greatest friends.
  • He turned those friends into my family. 
  • He drew me closer to Him.
  • He showed me who I am in Him. 
  • He challenged me and taught me how to depend on Him. 
Yes..there were many difficult times this past year, but God was faithful through them all.

I want to thank all my friends here at Chapel Hill for making this one of the best years of my life.


  • Thanks for your constant encouragement and support during stressful days. Like when I slept through an exam and was freaking out. lol 
  • Thanks for giving me a shoulder to cry on (even though I only cried twice) and letting me just vent and ramble on and on about stuff that did not make sense. 
  • Thanks for showing me how wonderful, delicious and heavenly COOKOUT is. 
  • Thanks for teaching me how to shag. 
  • Thanks for helping me discover my hidden talent of riding a mechanical bull.
  • Thanks for singing and worshipping Jesus with me every Tuesday night @ TNW. 
  • Thanks for showing my tastebuds great southern food like fried oreos.
  • Thanks for laughing at my jokes (or pretending to)... but more like not judging me when I laugh at my own jokes. 
  • Thanks for being spontaneous and doing fun things like ice skating, sledding down skipper bowles dr. during a snow storm, Turkey Bowl football game, hiking, enoing, almost winning IM basketball (steph curry with da shot boi), ding dong ditching DKE, running a 1k in ridiculous outfits, Mapleview ice cream, biking around Chapel Hill, game nights, frisbee on the quad, basketball pick up games, CL every Tuesday (skits that made me snort like no other) and getting BAPTIZED.
  • Thanks for all the great times that were not planned, photographed or centered around a big event. Those are the little memories that mean the most. 
  • Thanks for being extremely weird, silly, goofy, jesus loving, joyful, fun and caring people. You guys are my people. 
  • Most importantly though, thank you for showing me God's love all the time. Thank you for pushing me towards Him. Thank you for being my brothers and sisters in Christ.
It is crazy to think I have only known my friends here for less than a year, but that just proves that strong and loving friendships have nothing to do with how long you have known the person. I am going to miss this beautiful place and all the wonderful people that make it "home" so much this summer, but I am beyond thankful to have something so special that makes saying goodbye this hard. Love you all. Thank you for everything. 
But the real one to thank is our #1. God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit. 
Love you fam. 
"Every good and perfect gift is from above" ~ James 1:17












 "Teach me your way, Lord,

    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
    I will glorify your name forever."

Psalm 86:11-12







"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" -Ephesians 3:20





"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ."
Ephesians 1:3

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
~Psalm 139:23-24~

Thursday, March 5, 2015

My love for the game



As many people know, basketball became a job in high school. The word basketball automatically included other words such as pain, frustration, anger, and confusion. I was thrilled and so thankful I could play my senior year after years of physical therapy and doctors, but I was at peace when the season ended. I had learned a lot about myself, God and life through my basketball career. I felt as if this chapter in my life was complete and God had other exciting and challenging things to come.
During the first few weeks at UNC I started to really miss the game. I missed the "swoosh" and the sound of shoes squeaking on the gym floor. So I started playing basketball on the court outside my dorm and at the gym. I played HORSE with my guy friends and won a few bucks :) People kept asking me why I did not try out for the Club team. I could not explain it to them well, but I was having fun just playing the game- no rules, no structure, no pressure to suck up the physical pain I was in. If my body started to hurt I could just sit out and it was totally ok. Whenever I was frustrated with a test grade or was having a hard time understanding my homework, I would go to the gym and shoot around. I could go and use basketball to release my frustration instead of basketball being the reason for my frustration.
About a month ago I made a coed IM team. We are 4-1 and are in the semi-finals. I cant't even begin to explain the joy I have when I am on the court. I feel so free and just... happy. I love the game. I love talking, reading, watching and playing it. It has become a huge blessing in my life. Yeah it would have been nice if I was never injured and could play without the constant pain, but I would not change it. Without those hard years, I would not be the person I am today. I would not be as close to God, would not appreciate the gifts God blessed with me, and might not even be at UNC. I am thankful for those years, because God molded and shaped me into who I am today. Do not get me wrong... it sucked. I have a stronger relationship with my parents, family and God because of those years.
I am thankful for those painful times, but amazed at how God works. I never thought I would be able to have as much fun playing as I used to, but once again He came through. Once again, our God provided. He always comes through. 




“Forget the former things;    do not dwell on the past; 
See, I am doing a new thing!" - Isaiah 43: 18-19a


"we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance"
- Romans 5:3








Sunday, March 1, 2015

New Beginnings

So today I became a College Life leader @ UNC. Honestly, there is no real good way to describe what this is because we are trying to figure out what God has in store for College Life and what He wants our mission to be. I do know that next year as a sophomore I will be leading a freshmen girls bible study!! Tons of my friends got placed to be young life or wild life leaders in high schools or middle schools today and I am so excited for the Lord to work through them to reach a ton of kids. I am nervous to see how the community of college life will be changing since lots of freshmen are on YL teams now. There are people who did not get placed and people who chose that it was not for them, so it is going to be interesting to see how the dynamic shifts. I hope as a leader I can help keep the community strong within the ministry no matter if the unc student is a leader or not.

I am just excited to see what the Lord has in store for this college campus, all the high schools and middle schools. I am also excited to see God work in my life and heart as I depend and rely on him more and more. I am praying that the Lord gives me a new heart every morning that wants to love every student, see how every unc student is broken, and show them God's love.

These are the 3 other freshmen girls who got placed on the College Life Team
Kennedy, Hannah, Kiana, Me

The CL team including all our wonderful adult leaders!